4 common sex mistakes you’re probably making in bed (sorry)

David Smiedt wants you to win, not fail in the bedroom – so listen up as he explains the four things you’re probably doing wrong when it comes to having good sex. 

Yes, Romeo, you’re amazing in the sack. That’s why you have been having sooooo much sex lately. If there’s a disconnect – and be honest here – between the first and second sentences of this story, chances are you could be doing it better. Most of us could, so think of this piece as your personal bedroom trainer. Drop and give us 20!

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#1. Your focus is too narrow

It doesn’t just happen in the bedroom champ. Nor do you actually have to be there to get things started. Get the, um, ball rolling with compliments during the day, a hint or three that you can’t wait be alone with her later and a dollop of non-sexual affection. Think of this trio as mental foreplay that will make her more receptive to the physical variety. Speaking of which…

#2. You value the main course over the appetiser

Hey Captain Testosterone, she needs more time than you to not only climax, but become aroused. No woman ever woke up beside a man the morning after and thought, “He was okay but what was with all the foreplay.”

It’s a simple equation, but the slower you go up front, the quicker she will orgasm when it comes to actual intercourse. And the quicker she orgasms, the less you have to thinking unsexy thoughts to prevent yourself ending the party prematurely.

#3. You want to drive too much

There’s a lot to be said for the old in-out, in-out but there’s more to her fulfilment than your athletic thrusting. No one knows the preferred motion of that ocean like she does, so find positions – mostly, you’ll be on your back – where she can control the tempo, movements and angles of contact.

But that don’t mean you can just lie back and think of England. Pay attention to the movements of her hips and pelvis. Think of this as a GPS to her pleasure zones so try to mimic these motions when you get behind the wheel again.

#4. You’re not paying attention to afterplay

You read it right: afterplay. While your every fibre may be urging you to roll over and sleep in the knowledge of a job well done, you owe her some PG-rated intimacy in the form of kisses and cuddles. Why? Because while you feel like a God during sex, she needs to feel treasured, adored and valued in its wake. The upshot of which is that she will be keener to revisit the experience and may even be more relaxed about trying a few new things.