How to ask your partner to be more sexually adventurous: Jo Lamble advice column
Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble answers your questions.
One of my friends is always talking about the amazing sex she has. It annoys me because it seems like she brings it up in every conversation.
I mentioned it to another friend, who jokingly said I sounded jealous…and I realise I actually am jealous!
My boyfriend and I don’t have a bad sex life, but it’s definitely not adventurous the way my friend’s is. Now I feel out of sorts. What do I do? Talk to my boyfriend? Talk to my friend?
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Talk to your boyfriend! You don’t have to tell him that you’re jealous of your friend’s sex life, but you can say that you’ve been thinking about how to make your love life even better.
You may need a few conversations about this because he could feel a bit criticised or uncomfortable at first.
Reassure him that you love him and you enjoy having sex with him, but you think there are ways to make it even more fun and adventurous.
As I keep saying in this column: don’t avoid difficult conversations.
Avoidance makes most situations worse because then the issues don’t get resolved. Most of the time, these kinds of conversations end up being much easier than we had anticipated.
Perhaps he’s even been thinking the same thing?
Hopefully he’s up for an open discussion about how to spice up your sex life. Do any of the graphic descriptions of your friend’s experiences interest you? Can you suggest some of those scenarios to your boyfriend?
Ask him if he has any new ideas. In fact, having conversations such as these should be fun, and are a form of intimacy. It will most likely bring you closer.
Got an issue for Jo to tackle? Send your question to [email protected]