How to navigate your social life if you feel like you’re the last single friend
We can all relate to the feeling of being left behind. But it can be particularly challenging, socially, when you’re the last person out of your friendship group to settle down.
Have you ever sent out a group text to see what your friends are doing on Saturday night, only to learn everyone is busy having a quiet night in with their significant other?
Navigating your social life when you feel like you’re the last single friend can be challenging, but it can also threaten our sense of self-worth in that we begin to question ‘what’s wrong with me?’ when you aren’t in a relationship.
Rowdie Walden, host of the Search Engine Sex podcast knows this feeling well. In an episode titled How to deal when you feel like the last single friend, he speaks with writer and fellow podcaster Melissa Mason about when everyone around you is hitting milestones and you’re lagging behind.
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“The milestone thing is like if you haven’t found love by a certain time, like there’s this acceptable period to be single, which is like your early 20s,” says Mason.
“It’s like something’s wrong with them. Like there is some sort of deeply ingrained
personality or, like, moral issue in them that they can’t possibly keep a person around.”
When a friend enters into a relationship and suddenly they don’t have as much time for us as they used to, we start to feel de-prioritised, too.
“Even if you do like their partner, it can be really jarring when you were close and then now they’ve got this other person that they’re close to. And so then it’s like there is a bit of a replacement of that friendship to a degree,” says Mason, adding that while you certainly shouldn’t project this feeling of rejection onto your mate, it’s still hard.
If you find yourself single among a friendship group of couples, don’t despair, says Walden. Now is the time to focus on yourself and figure out what you really want.
“I want you to take yourself to a fancy brunch. Order all the smashed avo, double beverage it up. This is some quality ‘me time’,” he says.
“Bring a notepad along and start thinking about the life you want to live, not the milestones you want to hit, but how you want to feel in your life. And write it all down.”