When is the right time to move in with your partner?
So you’re thinking of moving in with your significant other but have reservations? Psychologist Jo Lamble reveals exactly how to know if it’s the right time.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Recently he’s started talking about moving in with one another, but I think it’s too soon.
I’ve always been the “slow one” in a relationship; it takes me longer to get comfortable, and I really love my place and my own space. Whenever he brings it up, we argue about it. Am I wrong?
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The right time to move in together is when both individuals are comfortable with the plan – and you’re clearly not comfortable. Take as long as you need. Many people love their space and need to get used to the idea of sharing it. What you don’t want is to fight about it.
As usual, it’s important to have empathy. Let your boyfriend know that you understand his frustration and reassure him that your hesitancy does not reflect a lack of love.
Likewise, he needs to understand how you feel. Gently point out that if you’re going to have a long relationship, you’ll need to give each other loads of understanding over the years, so you may as well practise now.
I’m also wondering whether he is actually wanting commitment and that’s why he’s frequently bringing up the subject. Talk to him about where you both stand on the idea of committing to each other.
Perhaps it would be easier for him if you suggested a time frame going forward. That would also give you time to adjust to the idea.
Got an issue for Jo to tackle? Send your question to [email protected]