Why mindful masturbation is the self-pleasure you’re missing out on
Self-pleasure is a topic we’re slooowly becoming more comfortable with talking about openly, and it’s about dang time. Mindful masturbation is the next frontier, drawing on a full-body and mind experience for an orgasm like never before.
If Hollywood is to be believed, masturbation is a get-in-get-out sort of activity. But while a quicky is fine from time to time, it generally means the focus on pleasure is rather localised and the aim, almost solely orgasm.
But with the rise of wellness comes a more recent trend, one that devotes and explores pleasure throughout the entire body and on a much deeper level.
“Mindful masturbation is the practice of being present in the physical, emotional, psychological and erotic processes in your body,” says sex coach Georgia Grace.
It’s not new, she notes, but “has flowed from a dramatic rise in popularity of embodied practices like yoga, tantra and meditation,” which are age-old disciplines.
It differs from ‘regular’ masturbation, says Grace, in that it “allows you to feel your body’s full erotic potential through a range of inquiries using breath, movement, sound, touch and placement of awareness,” and it’s not focused on the goal of orgasm, but rather “the process of being in your body as you explore pleasure and sensation.”
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Much like its ancient roots in yoga and meditation, mindful masturbation has a plethora of benefits and yes, they extend outside the pleasure zone (though there are benefits for that, too).
“I teach clients the practice when they want to get out of their head and into their body, feel more pleasure and sensation, be more connected to their body or others, tune into their wants, needs, boundaries and desires, regulate arousal (i.e. premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction), cultivate intimacy, manage stress or anxiety, build arousal,” says Grace, the list really does go on.
What if I can’t get out of my own head?
“When I hear this, I like to remind people that if you are aware of the fact you are thinking – well done, you’re being mindful!” says Grace.
“The practice isn’t about being completely free from thought, rather it’s more important to become aware of what is going on in that present moment.”
Here are some things you can do to start masturbating more mindfully.
•Set the scene. Create a context that allows you to be as present as possible. This may mean choosing to practice at a specific time of day when you feel most relaxed, or it could be having a warm shower, setting an intention, lighting a candle, etc.
•Conscious breathing patterns. Be aware of how you are breathing and when you are holding your breath.
•Explore a variety of self-touch. Learn about new sensation or stimulation that feels good for you.
•Move and stretch. Practice beyond the same position (i.e. on your back).
•Explore toys and new sensations.
•A clear beginning and end. It may be useful to set a timer.
•Reflect in a way that is useful for you, like journaling, contemplating, speaking with someone.
As with its non-sexual counterparts, breathwork is really important in mindful masturbation, but there are also movements you can incorporate.
Engage your pelvic floor
As you exhale engage your pelvic floor, as you inhale relax it.
On your inhale, tilt your hips forward, on the exhale, flow your hips back. This is like a gentle, slow hip thrust. Think cat and cow, you can do this kneeling, standing lying down, etc. Any way that’s best for your body.
On an inhale, circle your hips forward, on the exhale, release and circle them back. Start small and work your way up to bigger circles.
Caress your body
Move your hands over your entire body, face, through your hair and intend to activate every inch with light touch. With these basic practices, start to move, breathe and touch yourself, follow the pleasure in your whole body.
You can also practice orgasmic yoga with other people, sensual music or toys. With unparalleled flexibility and both internal and external stimuli, We-Vibe’s Nova 2 next-generation rabbit vibrator is the ideal toy for mindful masturbation as it moves with your body with ease.
We-Vibe is running a competition for the ‘Reunite Stimulus Package’ for up to 10 couples separated by COVID to win a share in $30,000 for flights, accommodation and other arrangements. Applications are open until February 14.